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Our brains can be our biggest allies or worst enemies. Whether your brain acts to help you or to sabotage you all depends on how you train it. In this episode of The Brain Warrior’s Way Podcast, Dr. Daniel and Tana Amen discuss the work you can do to train your brain to subconsciously act and react in ways that will get you closer to your goals, rather than become a roadblock to them.
Daniel G Amen, MD:
Welcome to the Brain Warrior’s Way podcast. I’m Dr. Daniel Amen.
Tana Amen, BSN RN:
And I’m Tana Amen. In our podcast, we provide you with the tools you need to become a warrior for the health of your brain and body.
The Brain Warrior’s Way podcast is brought to you by Amen Clinics, where we have been transforming lives for 30 years using tools like brain SPECT imaging to personalize treatment to your brain. For more information, visit amenclinics.com.
The Brain Warrior’s Way podcast is also brought to you by BrainMD, where we produce the highest quality nutraceuticals to support the health of your brain and body. To learn more, go to brainmd.com.
Welcome back. We are talking about reset in the new year in 2021. Always challenging to switch it from 2020. Any of you do that when you’re writing checks? Got to stop writing 2020. And I am so excited about that. But we are talking about reset. We’re talking about the ONE PAGE MIRACLE we went through on relationships. Now we’re going to go through what you want for the rest of your life. But before we do, I want to remind everybody that for the rest of January, if you actually post and tag 10 friends, you can get my book, The Relentless Courage of a Scared Child.
That you will sign.
I will sign it and I will send you a copy. So you have to DM me or post it on one of our sites. You can post it at Brain Warrior’s Way podcast in the comment section. Or the easiest thing to do is go to social media @Tanaamen, or on Facebook. And if you post it and you tag 10 friends, I will sign a copy and send it to you. So you can take a screenshot of it and send it.
All right, before we get back to the ONE PAGE MIRACLE, we have another winner, a really wonderful review, Manjo, M-A-N-J-O 2020, love. “I’ve been listening to your podcasts for almost two years now. We have a young family friend that was struggling with a possible brain injury and they were abusing drugs and alcohol for years. I asked the parents to please check out your facility in Bellevue. They did, and their teenager had a brain scan, and you guys were able to pinpoint the issue. Now this teenage child is a young adult and doing very well. I wish more people chose your facility for brain health. Thank you so much for your amazing brain health information.”
That’s why we do what we do. So in the last episode, we talked, began to talk about the ONE PAGE MIRACLE, what it is. Write down what you want, not what you don’t want, and it’s often good. What do I want this year? The next five years, even look out the next 20 years. It’s what do you want? Because what you’re doing is you’re feeding your brain goals and clarity on how to behave and how to act.
Yeah, your subconscious doesn’t have a sense of humor. So if you are constantly talking about what you don’t want, if you’re constantly being negative, your brain tries to make happen what you tell it. So just planting that seed and constantly looking at it and constantly watering it, if you will, you’re more likely to start to get those things.
And the first part is relationships. What do you want for your spouse or your partner? And if you don’t have a spouse or a partner and you want one that becomes the goal. What do you want with children, if you have them? With your family. So last year, I lost my dad and I wanted a connected relationship with him. In the last five years, we had that. But now I have my mom and she went through grief and it was really hard for her, but I’m really clear. I want to have a close, loving, supportive, connected relationship, which means I need to show up.
And then the next part of the ONE PAGE MIRACLE is work. What do you want? Even if you’re retired, it’s how are you going to contribute? How are you going to use your brain? What do you want for work? And I know you just are coming out of a really intense work season, right? With your book, and book launch, and all that. But once you’re done with something, it’s important to put something else there. I’ve treated too many athletes where their whole goal is that Olympic medal. And then they don’t know what they want because their whole life had been headed one way. And it’s so important to be making a difference or to learning or growing. And so what do you want at work?
No, I agree.
And then it’s what do you want for your money? And this is really important. A person’s relationship with money. It just it matters because it’s such a stressful relationship for so many people.
This is really important. When you’re doing this one, most people don’t even realize what their values are around money. If you’re not getting what you want financially, if you’re not succeeding in the financial area, I did this exercise a long time ago and it was life-changing for me. It’s sometimes because your values don’t match what you say you want, if that makes sense. So I used to make these financial goals and I wouldn’t meet them. And I was always connecting it to money. And what I realized is I’m not that money motivated. I’m more purpose driven. So for me, it was hard to meet the, if I just tagged it with a dollar sign, it was hard. But if I put the why behind it. Why do I want to do that? The money was easier if I actually was doing the thing that was making me happy that was purposeful. So understanding your values, are they getting in the way of what you want because you don’t really understand how you’re wired is important.
And values like security and independence and value and fun are just critical. And so before you spend something, just go, “Well, does it fit the goals I have for my life?” And those are the three words. When you finish the ONE PAGE MIRACLE, and you look at it, we suggest you look at it a lot. Some of my patients just look at it every day. And the question is, does it fit? If I say this to you, does it fit the goals I have? If I’m going to spend money on something, well, does it fit the goals I have for my financial health? And that way it helps you for not filing bankruptcy because you make impulsive spends that you can’t afford because people are always saying, “Oh, credit, we’ll give you a credit. We’ll give you credit.” Well, you’re not then thinking about the future.
And then the next part is, what do you want for your body, for your physical health? If you come from a family of people who can be obese. In my family, I don’t want to be overweight. And that actually takes a fair amount of work for me. But when I go to eat something, I’m like, “Well, does this fit the goals I have for my body?” You’re very disciplined about working out because for you, you want to be healthy.
Yeah. It’s more of a health thing for me and a brain thing.
Right. But looking a certain way is important as well.
Oh, for sure. Keeping fit.
So how do you want to be? And if I wanted and the goals you have, they have to be reasonable. If my goal at 66 was to be center for the Los Angeles Lakers, it’s not happening. I mean don’t make goals that-
I know I gave up on trying to be a Navy SEAL-
Made me sad.
Make them fit your ability and your talent, but get stretch goals in there.
So this is interesting. I love the one-page thing. I love the question is my behavior getting me what I want? But I do want to take it one step further for people who aren’t getting what they want and they’re not sure why. So in the relationship, when I was coaching someone at one time, I had her write down in a little more detail, what is it that you want? What about that person? What qualities in that person do you want? Where do you want to live? With the house and the money. And I went through the whole thing. But then I had her turn it around at the end and go, why would that person be attracted to you?
Why would that person want to be with you? Same with the job. Why would that employer want me? Why would those customers want to do business with me? And I had her go through and do this. And she took it personally. She got really upset at first. She was like, “Well, that’s not very kind.” And I’m like, “I didn’t actually say it was or wasn’t kind. I just asked you why.” And the reason she got upset is because she realized when she actually stopped for a minute, she wanted this thing and we call that very positive thinking. It’s like saying, I don’t want weeds in my garden. I don’t want weeds in my garden. And you’re trying to do positive thinking, but you don’t go out and pull the weeds. You’ve got to go out and pull the weeds.
So that part of this exercise is why would that person want me? Why would that person be attracted to me? Why would that employer want me? Why would those customers want to do business with me? If you can’t say they would because you’ve done the work and you’re a great partner, or you’ve got a great business, or you are a great employee, then ask yourself why? What are the things that they wouldn’t be attracted to because that’s the work you need to do. That’s pulling the weeds. You can’t just want the weeds gone and expect them to disappear.
Wow. So true. So what did you learn? Write it down. Post it on any of your social media sites. And the ONE PAGE MIRACLE is just so simple. ONE PAGE MIRACLE. What do I want? What am I doing to get what I want? Relationships, work, money, physical, emotional, spiritual health. When we come back, we’re going to talk about emotional and spiritual health. Stay with us.
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