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Tips For Getting Over Fear Of Rejection, with Lisa Sasevich

Dr Daniel Amen and Tana Amen BSN RN On The Brain Warrior's Way Podcast

Hockey legend Wayne Gretzky is often quoted for having said “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” Clearly this is true outside the hockey rink as well. Unfortunately, all too often fear is what keeps us from taking our shots in life. So how can you get past that fear? In the fourth and final episode with “Meant for More” author Lisa Sasevich, she and the Amens discuss how you can shift your inner paradigm to think past the fear and start taking those shots.

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Dr Daniel Amen:
Welcome to the Brain Warrior's Way podcast. I'm Dr. Daniel Amen.
Tana Amen:
And I'm Tana Amen. In our podcast, we provide you with the tools you need to become a warrior for the health of your brain and body.
Dr Daniel Amen:
The Brain Warrior's Way podcast is brought to you by Amen Clinics where we have been transforming lives for 30 years using tools like brain SPECT imaging to personalize treatment to your brain. For more information, visit amenclinics.com.
Tana Amen:
The Brain Warrior's way podcast is also brought to you by BrainMD where we produce the highest quality nutraceuticals to support the health of your brain and body. To learn more, go to brainmd.com
Dr Daniel Amen:
Welcome back. We are here with our friend Lisa Sasevich, who is a best-selling author, Tana's mentor. We're talking about purpose and men for more really how to actualize your purpose in a way that helps the most people. Her book is out April 14th Meant for More by Hay House. You can take her free online course at meantformoregift.com
Tana Amen:
So one of the things, Lisa, before I throw this over to you because you're just so full of knowledge, I want people to hear that. When I came to you, I could not figure out why like I can get up on stage and speak, no problem and I can do a really good job and I can get a standing ovation, no problem. What I couldn't figure out why I could not get the conversion. I couldn't solve stuff on stage, which made no sense to me.
Tana Amen:
I'm like, "Why am I not able to sell stuff?" And I always felt a little awkward about it. And then when I came to you, you helped me figure out why. It's because I'm not money motivated. I'm a nurse. I'm not money motivated. It doesn't matter to me like the money wasn't converting in my head. Like when I'm speaking, I'm not driven to make money. But when I figured out that what I'm driven to do is make a difference, it made all the difference in the world.
Tana Amen:
When I connected it to me making a difference in people's lives rather than me making that money at the end of it. So I think people need to know what's important to them and it's okay if making money is your thing, you just need to know it. And you helped me figure out how to switch that in my head because that was a block for me.
Tana Amen:
Does that make sense? And that was like so important for me to be successful. So I just wanted to throw that in because if you don't know that, you'll always stumble. You'll always not be able to figure it out.
Lisa Sasevich:
Listen, when I created the Meant for More formula chapter one or step one in the five steps is making peace with sales. And so, it speaks directly to what you are sharing from your heart right now. So many people that want to make a difference go out there to do so you're a great example, Tana, you're a huge difference that you make for people. And then we go, "Oh no, I have to sell. I didn't get in this to be a salesperson. I did this to make a difference."
Lisa Sasevich:
And so, like you said, when you came at it that I've had to learn to sell from stage. That's not congruent with who you are. But when you realize that in order to make the difference I want to make, I need to be able to speak in a way that gives people what they need to be able to say yes, right? And I think one of the biggest transformations that we can have when we are out there wanting to make an offer to help people is to realize that when somebody says yes or no, whether it's a personal invitation or what we call an irresistible offer to work with you, right? Works on either whether you're making money with it or not.
Lisa Sasevich:
When you make an invitation or what we call an irresistible offer, whether somebody says yes or no, it's actually not personal. It feels like it is because you're the one making an offer. So it's very easy to feel like they're accepting or rejecting you and that's why a lot of people never do when they make their offer. But if you can separate those things that when you make an offer, you're offering your unique value to the world.
Lisa Sasevich:
You're being purposeful, right? It's part of your plan to make a difference and live longer and be abundant. And on the other side, there's a person who is inside themselves saying yes or no to their own transformation. They're actually not saying yes or no to you. They're saying yes or no to themselves. When you decided you wanted to work with me, Tana and become my client, you are saying yes to your mission.
Lisa Sasevich:
You're saying yes that you really, really want to help more people-
Tana Amen:
And I thought you could help me get there.
Lisa Sasevich:
It looks like you're saying yes to me, right? We had a transaction, right? There was money exchanged and time scheduled, but really who you said yes to is yourself and that's the biggest way, one of the biggest mindset shifts that we can use to make peace with sales. The idea of making our offer is that it is purposeful. It is a generous thing to do. Otherwise, you're kind of out there talking about a possibility rowing people out into the lake of possibility so they can see something new for themselves.
Lisa Sasevich:
If you don't make your invitation, it's kind of like leaving them there with no oars. How do they get started? How do they lose the weight? How do they help their child get that special plan at school? What's the steps? There's got to be something to sign up for.
Dr Daniel Amen:
So that was actually an answer to my earlier question is why do sales make people anxious? Because it's the fear of rejection, which is a basic biological fear because if you are rejected by the group. So when I decided to do something different than my colleagues and I initially got all the blow back and the criticism was very painful. Because being part of the group from evolutionary perspective, you live longer.
Dr Daniel Amen:
And when the group rejects you, your family rejects you or your colleagues, your friend group rejects you, you're more vulnerable to get eaten by something else. And so, rejection is such an innate fear that people have. They don't want us step into that, but truly successful people, they're able to risk rejection to do something else. But you have to reframe it in your head.
Dr Daniel Amen:
And ultimately for me, it's like I've found another group that, that I love more. And so, it's basically you just have to find who your people are and people who don't take your offer. Well, they're at least at the moment, not part of your group.
Tana Amen:
And I love what you said, they're not rejecting you, they're saying no to themselves. That's a huge reframe. That's just huge. It's not personal.
Lisa Sasevich:
Yes. In fact, you both came up with the word reframe because the first chapter, the first part of living your Meant for More journey literally is called reframe the game and make peace with sales. So you're right, it is a huge reframe and really any transformation that any of us want to have. This is what I've seen from over 30 years of my own personal development, is that all transformation is preceded by a decision.
Lisa Sasevich:
Look at any transformation you've had in your life, even if it was the School of Hard Knocks, if you had a transformation from it at some point you made a decision too. So for folks who want to, make a difference and make money doing what they love, there's a decision and the decision that's being offered right now is you could decide to reframe the game and make peace with sales.
Dr Daniel Amen:
And so, people can learn more about your work. They can go to meantformoregift.com. They can pick up the book, which will be available April 14th and if they pre-order it, that would be awesome. Because one of the things I've just found is that if you have information that's helpful for you, give it to someone you care about.
Dr Daniel Amen:
Because it's actually in the act of giving that you get to keep it because you'll have somebody to share the work. Someone to share those principles with.
Tana Amen:
Which is why I'm still friends with the people from my mastermind group because no one else understands what you're saying.
Lisa Sasevich:
You know, as you grow and you step into your unique value, few things will happen. It's going to be the people in your life that don't want you to change and sometimes it's going to be some of the ones that are closest to you, and that can all be hard. But you're also going to find out who your champions are. The people that really, really believe you were meant for more.
Lisa Sasevich:
And if you are out there championing someone, feel free to share meantformoregift.com. We all have children that are adults now and that are somewhat directionless in the world and them being able to look at an early age and find their unique value, what a gift. What a gift.
Tana Amen:
Yeah. No, It's great. You are a gift.
Dr Daniel Amen:
Oh, this would actually be a great gift for Michael.
Tana Amen:
Yeah.
Dr Daniel Amen:
I'm just thinking of people we could because I mean you just have to send the URL to people. Just send meantformoregift.com.
Tana Amen:
No, that's a good idea. You are such a gift, Lisa.
Dr Daniel Amen:
All right, my friend. We have to stop, but what a joy to see you again-
Tana Amen:
You look amazing. You look beautiful.
Dr Daniel Amen:
And hear your voice and being a part of our Brain Warrior's Way community.
Lisa Sasevich:
I'm so honored to be here today and excited for all of us to keep living our men for more journeys and staying in touch, and letting it all in fall and as we make our differences.
Tana Amen:
Absolutely. If you're enjoying the Brain Warrior's Way podcast, please don't forget to subscribe so you'll always know when there's a new episode. And while you're at it, feel free to give us a review or five star rating as that helps others find the podcast.
Dr Daniel Amen:
If you're considering coming to Amen Clinics or trying some of the brain healthy supplements from BrainMD, you can use the code podcast 10 to get a 10% discount on a full evaluation at amenclinics.com or a 10% discount on all supplements at brainmdhealth.com. For more information, give us a call at (855) 978-1363.